New mom bails on £3500 cruise with her best friend of 32 years because she can't leave her 11-month-old baby at home: 'She realized when he was born that she wouldn't be able to leave him'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 29, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

She asked her over and over again if she should cancel the cruise because of her baby, and she said "no" until the last minute.

A lot can change in a friendship when one friend has a baby, and the other doesn't. Every emotionally mature person knows that a baby needs more attention and care from their mother than an adult needs from their best friend. Nevertheless, that fact doesn't make the emotional sting of a friend giving you the brush hurt any less. It's no fun to no longer be the 1st or 2nd-most-important person in your best friend's life. 

It's essential to give your exhausted parent friends some space, especially in the first year of parenthood. They probably won't be able to hang out multiple times a week or go on vacation, and that's okay! As long as they're able to communicate what they need from their friends and what they can't do, there's no reason a friendship should have to end because of a new baby. Some parents need their friends to come over once a week to hang out and give them a break from the baby, and some need to take a sabbatical from friendship for the first year of their firstborn's life; neither is inherently good or bad. 

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  • A cruise ship in the middle of the ocean
    via Marc Fanelli-Isla

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The mom in this story should've told her best friend that she couldn't go on vacation before her baby's first birthday, but she put it off until it was far too late to get their money back.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my friend that I don't think I can continue being friends after 32 years?

    Me and my best friend (E) have been friends our entire lives (32 years). Shes practically my sister. We booked a cruise together in October 2023 for November 2025. Well March 2024 she announces she's pregnant with her first baby and obviously I'm over the moon. I ask her if she
    via u/Forsaken_Iron
  • would like to cancel the cruise as her due date in November, the baby will only be 11 months old at the time we are dye to set sail. She tells me not to cancel the cruise that she 100% is still coming at the baby will stay with his dad and grandmother as she "will need a break after a year of nappies". I ask E so many times
    via u/Forsaken_Iron
  • over the coming months if she's sure as I don't think she will want to leave the baby (which is understandable). She says she is and will be fine.
    via u/Forsaken_Iron
  • A cheerful pregnant woman
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So over the months, we book the hotel, carparking, excursions, spa treatments etc. Each time I say to her "are you sure you want to still go" and she assures me that she does. This cruise has easily cost us £3500 each.
    via u/Forsaken_Iron
  • Well, we are due to travel to the hotel this Friday, set sail Saturday and she's text me to say she's not coming as she can't leave the baby. Obviously I've text her saying how pi$$ed off I am as I knew this would happen and she promised me it wouldn't. We
    via u/Forsaken_Iron
  • could have got a full refund up to a year before travelling. She told me not to cancel even though I wanted to as I told her she would feel different as soon as the cruise came as the baby was too young. She wouldn't listen and said it would be fine.
    via u/Forsaken_Iron
  • We are already checked into the cruise and even if we weren't, it is too late to change the booking to someone else's name. So either | go on my own or I don't go at all and lose out on £2500+.
    via u/Forsaken_Iron
  • I've told E that I understand why she can't go and I've understood all along, but I don't think I can work through out friendship after this. I feel so let down and betrayed if I'm honest. She's informed me that she realised when he was born that she wouldn't be able to leave him but was hoping she would feel different nearer the time. So in
    via u/Forsaken_Iron
  • Sleeping baby on gray cushion
    via Tara Raye

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • that year we've booked hotel, parking, excursions and even the remaining balance of the cruise. All that money wasted when she could have just cancelled and we could have even got the deposit back. It's not even the money. It's the fact that it's 48 hours before we are due to leave and she's basically told me to go on my own or don't go at all.
    via u/Forsaken_Iron
  • I'm just so hurt, upset, let down etc. I really don't think I can work through this but AITA for ending a 32 year friendship over a cruise?
    via u/Forsaken_Iron
  • Ok-Indication-7876 NTAH, but go on the trip you paid for have a great time meet a new group of friends, I'm sorry this happened but I would distance myself from her for a while
    via u/Ok-Indication-7876
  • Specific-Pattern-774 Yeah that's good advice, might as well make the best of the trip and take some space to clear their head.
    via u/Specific-Pattern-774
  • BlushMuses Exactly. They've already paid for it, might as well turn it into something positive. Sometimes being in a new environment helps you reset emotionally.
    via u/BlushMuses_
  • LetterheadDue3739 fr tho! like she had a whole YEARRR to say she's not going, and now it's your problem? nah that's not a friend move. i'd 100% still go and live it up. post the best pics, and let her see what she missed!
    via u/LetterheadDue3739
  • Forsaken_Iron OP I don't know what to do now. I don't think I'm going to enjoy the cruise at all on my own. It's more a party cruise and it's going to be hard to party A) On your own B) When you feel so let down and upset.
    via u/Forsaken_Iron
  • JuliaM24k Trust me! You will enjoy yourself! Don't worry about her.
    via u/JuliaM24k
  • Pretty-Fee9620 Look at it this way, you can be pissed off at home or scowl at sunsets whilst sipping on a cocktail. You might even make a new friend.
    via u/Pretty-Fee9620
  • Nomdeplume55 This happened to a friend of mine. Her friend cancelled. She went anyway. Met her future husband on the cruise because she was bored and open to meeting new people. I've met amazing friends on solo holidays. The situation sucks but you have nothing to lose by going and making the best of it.
    via u/Nomdeplume55
  • Nononsense7890 There is no coming back from this. She had ample opportunity to let you know, to cancel the trip and to be honest with you. You were strung along until the last minute. Go by yourself, mourn your friendship. The trust is gone. It can never be the same. Walk away. Make new friends and don't let her hold you back anymore. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
    via u/Nononsense7890
  • REVERENDQUEEF NTA - if she had just come to this revelation a few weeks or months ago, that's one thing. but she is admitting to you that she had this revelation the day he was born, meaning she's been flat out lying to your face for 11 months. it was not an oversight, it was not a mistake, it was a calculated lie she told while knowing full well that lie was going to cost you both a considerable amount of money.
    via u/REVERENDQUEEF
  • you have every right to feel betrayed because you were, point blank, period. she blatantly disrespected you and your friendship and she knowingly wasted your time and your money all while lying to your face about it. you have every right to cut your losses and end the friendship over this. anyone who would do that to you is not a friend worth having in your life. i hope you can find a way to still go on that cruise tho, OP. whether it be by yourself or with another friend, you deserve it.
    via u/REVERENDQUEEF
  • KathyOverAndOut "she's been flat out lying to your face for 11 months" This. This is why it's not about a cruise. It's about the detestable way she treated a lifelong friend. I am disgusted just reading this.
    via u/KathyOverAndOut

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friendship baby cruise ship besties best friends mother friends best friend reddit story cruise reddit thread Reddit mom money vacation bestie
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